Seaman insight.com
On an eventful day when a Mariner’s wife stands at the
horizon and sees the lights of a ship waning away as waves budge it further
into deeper seas, her heart sinks into depths greater than the ocean itself and
resurfaces astoundingly. These women deserve salutation and admiration from
family as well as society, their role more often understood than told. Life of
a seafarer is not a cakewalk, neither for him nor for his wife.
Be it the long awaited haul by the family, especially
the wife Mrs. Aditi James of Capt. Sunil James who fought with all her might to
get her husband rescued back from the prison in Togo despite suffering
irrecoverable loss of their only child Vivaan, or the deserted families of
Captain Jasprit Chawla and Chief Officer Syam Chetan involved in Heibei
Spirit Oil Spill incident, whose detention generated controversy and
protests from all parts of the world and shipping fraternity, the wives of
these sailors have endured great sufferings and fought several difficulties,
most of the times single handedly. As seen in several unfortunate maritime
events around the world, seafarers and their families have equal share in the
grief and anguish they have been subjected to, time and again due to
unfavourable laws of coastal states and criminalisation of seafarers. The
journey of pain in such events is enduring and takes toll on one’s life,
especially on the wives of mariners.
A mariner’s wife ardently takes up various jobs as part of her duty, which often requires coping with emotional ups and downs while their
husbands are away, socialising with vexing relatives, handling household jobs,
and if situation requires, taking up matters with ministries, governments and
embassies to bring their spouses back home. In unfortunate events
wherein seafarers have been stuck in foreign ports or went through
unfortunate accident, the spouses and family of these seafarers have stood by
them, showing great courage, patience, and grit in rescuing their loved-ones.
A seafarer’s wife has to go through a variety of
issues both when on land and at sea, the main among them being:
Parenting: One of the biggest and arduous challenges a
seafarer’s wife has to undertake is parenting and looking after the well being
of children when their father is away at sea. She assumes sole powers and
responsibility regarding the education and grooming of children at
each and every stage, right from exhaustive infant care to handling needs
of emotionally demanding teenagers. Mapping their progress at every level and
passing through testing times when a child needs medical, moral and emotional
support, a seafarer’s wife single handedly manages a variety of issues, showing
great determination and courage.
Loneliness: Though the wives of seafarers find ample opportunities to keep
themselves busy, solitude always prevails and often makes them feel feeble
(mostly emotionally) in presence of their social counterparts. Perpetually they
are bold enough to overcome and continue supporting their spouses, but dealing
with badly timed questions from relatives and friends regarding married life and
their concern about upbringing of children, family issues, managing household
jobs etc. sometimes do take toll on their mental and physical health. However,
the ease with which a mariner’s wife deals with these stumbling blocks is
commendable.
Household Errands: The absence of husband puts a mariners wife on the forefront to
fulfil countless household tasks such as paying bills, settling repairs,
decorating interiors, managing finances and investments on behalf of mariner
husbands, not to forget the formal socialising as well. In case of joint
families (still prevalent in several parts of the world) she is also required
to look after parents of both her’s and her husband’s. More often than not,
this also includes attending and supporting their medical care and daily needs.
With due span of time, a mariner’s wife inculcates enough resolve and mettle to
cope up with and fulfil the needs hovering around herself.
While Onboard: Even while sailing onboard ships, accompanying their husbands, Apart
from infrequent shore leaves and parties on board, she has to regularly
attend drills, cope up with frozen foods, comply with meal timings, and follow
safety instructions at various work areas. Moreover, onboard they have limited
access and areas to keep themselves engaged, which can take a toll on
them if the vessel is on long voyages.
Being a mariner’s wife needs immense courage and
valour, which makes her stand out from other women, who always have the
opportunity to enjoy the company of their husband but often do not value
it.
Though the need for a healthy family life has been
widely accepted and understood by shipping companies that often encourage
interaction and participation in social events for mariners and their families,
there is a lot to be done in order to provide an ideal life for a seafarer and
his wife.
Needless to say, the
importance of seafarer’s wife in providing a healthy family life to mariners at
sea, needs to be acknowledged by the rest of the world, which relies heavily
and widely on trade and shipping
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